1- Nails are ok, skin on left thumb a little knicked, but not too bad
2- BLERGH.
3- New manicure pending
4- *weeps*
This week at work felt like the longest week in Hell.
We're moving along on the condo front, I'm freaking the fuck out, seeing all my hard earned cash invested into this ONE single thing. Yes, though it's pretty unlikely, I'm panicking at the thought of a repeat of the mold-infested apartment. Only if this one fucks up, I've got a mortgage going along with it. Fuck.
Guess there's a reason my thumb took a hit this week.
Got the car back last Friday, along with my gym bag, but considering I gotta plan English lessons (thank god for that extra income) and sign a shitload of paperwork regarding the condo, gym's taken a hike. For a little while now. (Though previous missed appointments can be chaked up to the car accident and the fact that my gym bag was IN said car while it was undergoing repairs.)
Ok, so that's no excuse for all the junk I've been ingurgitating. I'll just blame stress and lack of time for that.
Nails this week were a little worse for wear, actually had to take off the funky fuschia polish I had on as it had chipped off and looked quite unprofessional. Have yet had to paint them again, but restrained from gnawing them off, which is stil an improvement.
And yeah, that's pretty much it. I want to write more, I want to write better, but I'm just so fucking furiously busy. I get urges to write, and instead of doing that I'm washing dishes, cooking, putting away clothes, cleaning up after BfuckinF, or otherwise I might just bust a fucking fuse seeing all that stuff needing to be done and instead taking time to write...
Gah, fuck it.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
The end.
1- Much progress has been done the last few weeks
2- According to the nurse, lost 3 lbs by not going to the gym. Or on the gym's scale...
3- Keeping up good nail polish habits, though far from being as elaborate as tutorial videos on youtube
4- Lacked time and motivation. But mostly time.
X's funeral was last Sunday. Things are getting back to the way they were, though I often catch myself thinking 'I have to show X this when he...' and then remember that I'll never get to, that he won't come back.
Cat was at X's funeral. X's sister invited her. It was nice to see her being functionnal, though wtf do you say to someone who's just tried to off herself and missed? And ended up losing the love of her life in the process. I was glad that most people there didn't seem to blame her for what happened.
The funeral home was packed with peeps I didn't know, a lot of relatives and friends. I caught myself thinking I was surprised that X had that many friends... though it's true that funerals are for the family more than for the deceased.
Dre had made a photo album for the family. It was a nice gesture, though a little loaded... she had cut Cat out of all the frames. But then, when it came to X, Dre had always lived in a rose-colored world. And now that he's gone, I don't think he's about to set the record straight. (Personally, seeing the love of my life committing suicide with another girl woulda kinda given me a hint...)
Summer's gonna be the hardest. Shows, parties, roadtrips, breakfasts at Eggspress... tons of things where I was just used to having him there.
It just baffles me. The thought that he was so, so unhappy, that he'd want to end all this. That nothing in his life was enough to hold on to. That the thought of us, of me and BF, of his sisters and his nephews, that CAT, that music couldn't keep him with us. I just don't understand. I'd like to. But I can't.
And I can't ask Cat to relive all this so I can satisfy this morbid curiosity. She's fragile enough as it is.
And yet, even through all this... life goes on.
I've been keeping away from my thumbs, the skin's almost back to a normal color. Still fragile though, so that if I barley nick it, I'll make a scratch and have to work even harder at keeping away from it. Kinda what happenned today...
On the food front, met up with the nurses hired by my work. Clean bill of health according to the blood tests, and I've also improved on my habits compared to last year. Plus, don't know if it's a trick of the scales, but I would apparently have lost 3 pounds... Which is a complete mystery as have not been eating healthy at all in the past weeks. Way too much restaurant (though we have an excuse for that... sort of.)
Been keeping up the good habits of putting on polish (and taking it off when too destroyed) but can't seem to find it in me to put on makeup. This will probably improve soon. I hope. As will my writing habits. The main reason for that?
We have found a place to live.
As exciting as it is, it will also bring its fair share of challenges. But I'm really eager to take them on.
More on that to come.
As they say : Life goes on.
2- According to the nurse, lost 3 lbs by not going to the gym. Or on the gym's scale...
3- Keeping up good nail polish habits, though far from being as elaborate as tutorial videos on youtube
4- Lacked time and motivation. But mostly time.
X's funeral was last Sunday. Things are getting back to the way they were, though I often catch myself thinking 'I have to show X this when he...' and then remember that I'll never get to, that he won't come back.
Cat was at X's funeral. X's sister invited her. It was nice to see her being functionnal, though wtf do you say to someone who's just tried to off herself and missed? And ended up losing the love of her life in the process. I was glad that most people there didn't seem to blame her for what happened.
The funeral home was packed with peeps I didn't know, a lot of relatives and friends. I caught myself thinking I was surprised that X had that many friends... though it's true that funerals are for the family more than for the deceased.
Dre had made a photo album for the family. It was a nice gesture, though a little loaded... she had cut Cat out of all the frames. But then, when it came to X, Dre had always lived in a rose-colored world. And now that he's gone, I don't think he's about to set the record straight. (Personally, seeing the love of my life committing suicide with another girl woulda kinda given me a hint...)
Summer's gonna be the hardest. Shows, parties, roadtrips, breakfasts at Eggspress... tons of things where I was just used to having him there.
It just baffles me. The thought that he was so, so unhappy, that he'd want to end all this. That nothing in his life was enough to hold on to. That the thought of us, of me and BF, of his sisters and his nephews, that CAT, that music couldn't keep him with us. I just don't understand. I'd like to. But I can't.
And I can't ask Cat to relive all this so I can satisfy this morbid curiosity. She's fragile enough as it is.
And yet, even through all this... life goes on.
I've been keeping away from my thumbs, the skin's almost back to a normal color. Still fragile though, so that if I barley nick it, I'll make a scratch and have to work even harder at keeping away from it. Kinda what happenned today...
On the food front, met up with the nurses hired by my work. Clean bill of health according to the blood tests, and I've also improved on my habits compared to last year. Plus, don't know if it's a trick of the scales, but I would apparently have lost 3 pounds... Which is a complete mystery as have not been eating healthy at all in the past weeks. Way too much restaurant (though we have an excuse for that... sort of.)
Been keeping up the good habits of putting on polish (and taking it off when too destroyed) but can't seem to find it in me to put on makeup. This will probably improve soon. I hope. As will my writing habits. The main reason for that?
We have found a place to live.
As exciting as it is, it will also bring its fair share of challenges. But I'm really eager to take them on.
More on that to come.
As they say : Life goes on.
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